The princess on the pea
by Azura436
Summary: PG13 because of some language and contentThis is a light story. It's about Lily, James the maraudes and some other friends. It starts at the sixth year of Hogwarts.


Lily Evans was jumping happily around her house. She was so happy because for her 16th birthday her parents were going on a trip with her older sister Petunia, in the middle of nowhere. They had permitted her to invite friends over from her "freak" school as Petunia loved to say. She hated Lily because she thought that her little sister was a shame to the Evans family. The reason, Lily was a witch, and she went to Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry. Petunia had rejected her sister 5 years ago when a horrible creature, as she put it, flew in carrying a letter sealed with the Hogwarts crest.  
  
Anyways, Lily was hopping everywhere in her huge manor that served the purpose of a house to the Evans. She was very excited, neither parents nor Petunia for a whole 2 weeks!!! She was in heaven thinking of a small gathering with only her best friends for her birthday.  
  
So, on the 21st of July she was having people over for her 16th birthday as planned. She had invited all of her best friends: Eve, Diana, Mya, Sirius and Remus who also happened to be going out with Eve and Mya. But of course where Sirius and Remus went their best bud James Potter came too. And where the three marauders were, you could be sure to find Peter (ugh I hate him) tagging along as their perfect admirer.  
  
Anyways. Lily was having so much fun. They had done crazy and stupid stuff laughing really hard all night long. She was feeling very happy and relaxed. But she had no clue that the reason she was feeling SO relaxed was that she was drunk dead. Her friends had tricked her into drinking alcohol beverages without her noticing. She was the only one drunk since it was one of those weird gifts from them.  
  
Later that night, everybody was asleep or so she thought. She wasn't feeling sleepy at all so she went for a night stroll in her house. After a while she decided she was hungry and headed for the kitchen. When she arrived she got the surprise to see a guy there.  
  
- James Potter! What the hell are you doing in my kitchen? You're supposed to be asleep not eating my food! she said angrily.  
  
She hadn't wanted him there in the first place. She just couldn't understand how all of her friends could be his friends and consider him funny but Remus and Sirius had insisted so much that in the end she finally gave in. They both had thanked her and told her that she wouldn't regret it. she thought for herself.  
  
- Whoa! Relax Lily I was only getting myself a LITTLE something to eat. He said pointing at his sandwich. Do you want one?  
  
Lily was taken aback, he usually was so mean to her and now he was offering something rather nice to her. The fact that she was drunk didn't help her on her general conception of things either. She nodded yes and he fixed her a big sandwich. While they were eating, Lily noticed that James kept staring at her. She didn't say anything because she thought that he was checking her out. When really he was looking at her bewildered because of the way and of the speed she was eating. Never in the whole six years of knowing her had she looked so alike a pig.  
  
After she was done eating and James had put everything away in the dishwasher (even if he was a pure blood his mother insisted on doing work the muggle way).  
  
He was about to go up to bed after wishing Lily a happy birthday and good night when she put a hand on his arm to stop him.  
  
-Thanks for the sandwich! Let me make it up to you.  
  
She grabbed his wrist and began walking very fast.  
  
-No Lily...it's ok you don't have to.  
  
-I insist!  
  
- Well...agh ok then you're the b-day girl.  
  
He let her lead the way. The walked for about 15 minutes until they came to a halt. She opened two large doors. Pushed him in the dark room, went after him, closed the doors and locked them behind them.  
  
-Lily where are we? Why aren't we going to sleep? I'm tired, I need rest and so do you.  
  
Just as he shot all those questions she opened lights revelling an indoor pool. She then closed the lights leaving only the underwater ones open.  
  
- Euh...Lily? Began James  
  
- Shhhhh  
  
She took James by the hand and led him near the diving board. He stood there not sure where she wanted to get at.  
  
She then hopped on the board walking slowly towards the water.  
  
- Lily! What are you doing? Get back here; you're going to drown yourself!  
  
He actually thought she might since she was drunk and fully dressed.  
  
-James, James, James...I'm a grown girl in cased you haven't noticed and I know what I'm doing. I can take care of myself. Come on just relax. Hop into the water and have a little swim.  
  
-Euh...Lily...I don't have my swimsuit and besides...  
  
-No need for swimsuits! I'll show you what you have to do. She then took of her pants. Revealing lacy like form fitting boxers. She threw her jeans in a corner and began to take off her shirt.  
  
James gulped he wanted to make her stop but at the same time he couldn't stop looking at her.  
  
-Lily stop! You don't know what you're doing. He finally managed to get out.  
  
For all of an answer, she took of her shirt and threw it in his face. He shoved it off and kept looking at her. She was right; she was a grown girl, more like a grown woman. He found her terribly sexy in her matching bra and boxers, her red hair spilled a little everywhere around her graceful curves. Lily then startled him by saying:  
  
-Once in a while, you just have to let yourself go of all the rules you know. The real question is: Will I? or Won't I?  
  
She then did a backward flip on the board. Afraid she would eventually kill herself he asked her:  
  
-Lily PLEASE give me the key to the door. Let's go sleep and don't do anything too crazy ok?  
  
She looked at him disappointed and hurt.  
  
-Danger, is the only way of truly feeling alive James. In fact it is the essence of life. I'm always being careful, being the perfect little girl! And now I won't listen to anyone. I'm not afraid and I really feel alive for the first time and you want me to stop? She asked in disbelief. And I thought you were the most living person on this earth! Guess I was wrong. Truth is James, that you're as much of a wuss as I was! Sometimes life is so silly. She declared.  
  
He looked at her angrily. Not believing she dared to call him a wuss. HIM the number on prankster of the school, the co-holder of most detentions in one year, the fearless Griffindor seeker. But then again she was drunk he thought. She hopped off the diving board (to his greatest relief) and went to her jeans. Just as he thought she was about to give him the key, she took it and slipped it in her bra tightening it safely between her breasts. She went back onto the diving board. Spun around to look at him said:  
  
-If you want to get out of here, first take a taste to life and come and get it yourself!  
  
After saying that she did a back flip and landed in the water very gracefully.  
  
She swam a little and got out of the pool by the ladder that was the closest to James. All of that under James amazed glaze he just couldn't believe her. How different she was. She approached him. And James tried to say something:  
  
-Lily...But her was cut off by her  
  
-Shhh...  
  
She put a finger on his lips, shutting him up. He was feeling very hot and all he could think of was:   
  
-Come on James! I know you want me I saw the way you look at me. Just let yourself go!  
  
She then kissed him very long making her tongue go wild in his mouth. He couldn't resist so he finally gave in. He pressed her body to his and kissed her wildly back. They were both on fire, but a little voice in James' head kept on saying: James!! What are you doing!? I am ashamed to be you! She's drunk and she doesn't know what she's doing. His next thought was Her continued caressing her body and kissing her fiercely for a while. He then pull back taking all of his might to do the right thing.  
  
-Lily! You're not yourself! This is definitely not right. You can't control yourself and you don't know what you're doing!  
  
-You just couldn't stop thinking and enjoy it while it lasted now could you!? She asked angrily. Well too bad! I don't care I'm not going anywhere! And besides I'm hot.  
  
She dived in the water pulling him in with her. She swam a bit and was fast worn off. She got out of the pool and she went to lie on a long chair. Falling fast asleep in the warmth of the towels.  
  
Taking it as his only chance, James swam to her and gathered her close. He began drying her softly when a thought crossed his mind. He walked to the door and tried to open it. It was really locked. He really didn't know how to retrieve the key without "taking advantage of the situation". So just as he was walking back to Lily and idea popped in his head. He then took two huge towels and wrapped the around his hands.  
  
-There! Like this I really won't be enjoying myself.  
  
He held Lily by her back, clumsily pressing gently her sides until her heard a small "cling". He looked on the floor and there was the key. He pocked it and wrapped Lily and dried towels. After he was dry again he took her in his arms her clothes on top of her limp body and walked to the door. He unlocked it. He gave the room one last look not wanting to leave anything suspicious behind since they would probably come the next day. Finding everything in order he went into the corridor and closed the door behind them.  
  
He then took Lily up to her bedroom, thanking god that everybody had his or her own guest room. He slid the newly sixteen years old girl under her covers, only in her undergarnement. He put her clothes in a messy pile near her bed, to make her believe she was too tired to put on her pjs.  
  
He then slowly walked to his room. Just as he was about to pull his door open he remembered the key. he thought. He ran downstairs to put the key back in her place. That night he had a hard time finding sleep. Images of a half naked Lily kept coming to his mind. He remembered the soft touch of her cashmere-like skin. The smell of her hair he just couldn't take it anymore! Just before falling asleep his last thoughts were:  
  
But deep down he failed to convince himself. His tiredness finally got the best of him and he fell asleep.  
  
The next morning Lily woke up at some rays of sunshine piercing through her curtains and directly on her face. She didn't want to open her eyes. Her head hurt and she wanted to sleep her headache away. Rolling over in her bed so her back was facing the window her hand fell upon. A leg. It startled her to feel something in her bed. She was afraid to open her eyes and discover the horrible sight that would be shown to her. Events of the night before rushed through her mind as she desperately tried to remember where and what she did. She slowly opened her eyes only to see.  
  
-Diana!" she mumbled. "What in gods name are you doing here? And why are you smiling like the devil?"  
  
Diana was sitting leaning on one of the poster of Lily's bed. An evil grin was spread across her face. She stared at Lily intently and suddenly she burst out laughing.  
  
-What!? Why do you have to be such a morning person!" When she finally managed to calm herself down (20 minutes later). Diana said:  
  
-"It's not morning. It's 12:45. And for your information I was attributed the difficult task of waking you without being murdered in the process. "  
  
She gave Lily a small smile.  
  
-"I would NOT murder you! I'm not that much of a violent person. Only in the morning anyway."  
  
She flashed the best smile she could when she just woke up. And asked.  
  
-"Who gave you that OH so difficult task anyway?"  
  
But Diana didn't have time to answer because 4 people barged in her room without even having the decency of knocking first.  
  
-"SIRIUS BLACK! Have you ever heard of knocking? I could have been doing anything in here!" screamed Lily at the top of her lungs.  
  
-"With Diana here I don't think so...unless you forgot to mention something to me. "  
  
He said with a mischievous grin and he raised his eyebrows. She looked at him and before he could have any realisation of what was happening she was beating him up with her pillows. When she was finally was out of breath she stopped. Sirius looked down at her and said  
  
-"Heck Lily what have you been doing during the night. If you no what I mean!"  
  
She was about to start hitting him again when Remus, Eve and Mya all gasped.  
  
-"What?!" Lily asked annoyed.  
  
The group was so busy watching the entertaining show that was Sirius being beat up that they hadn't noticed until then in what Lily was. Eve finally spoke up when she found back her voice.  
  
-"Lily do you always sleep in your underwear?"  
  
The red head looked down and what she saw terrorised her.  
  
-"OUT! NOW! EVERYBODY OUT!"  
  
-"But Lily."started Mya  
  
-"I said everybody Mya and yes that includes you too."  
  
She said as she was running to go back under her covers.  
  
Lily sat on her bed tightly clutching the covers to cover her whole body even if she was alone in her room. She sat there numb with shock thoughts speeding in her mind. I she thought looking at the small gathering of close near her bed.  
  
But somehow she didn't think that was quite it. Something always seemed to come back in her mind even if she didn't remember anything from last night.  
  
she thought. It was an image of her speaking to James in her underwear on the diving board in her pool. It seemed strangely like a dream to her. After all she would never do such a thing. She made up her mind to act as if nothing happened and tell her friends that she was too tired to put on her pyjamas. And she swore to herself that she would NEVER tell anybody about her dream. After all if she said something to her friends they would assume things and Lily wasn't really up to spending her time with girls who would always harass her about a self centred jerk that she hated. So she got up, took a shower and changed. After a while she was ready to go downstairs. And just as she put her hand on the door knob.  
  
...Just then the door slammed in her face making her stumble backwards.  
  
-"What the heck!?" she exclaimed  
  
She looked up only to be met by a horrible sight (to her anyway) James Potter the one and only was looking at her. And he seemed to be in a battle with to emotions. Say jump up and hug her saying that he was sorry or bursting out laughing. He seemed to be trying to restrain his laughter and wanting to help her but it didn't quite work.  
  
-"Sorry!"  
  
He burst out laughing and after a while he stopped, feeling the deep cold glare Lily was giving him. She was holding her head. To her it felt as if somebody had taken a soda and shook it for a while and that the pressure was just trying to get out of her head (what a nice analogy). It was just too much to take she burst out yelling as if all hell was at her heals. Let's just say James was rather impressed by her energy.  
  
-"YOU DUMB ASS!!! WHAT THE HE|L DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING BARGING IN LIKE THAT! YOU SICK FU*K I COULD HAVE BEEN IN MY UNDERWARE OR WORSE NAKED YOU BAST@RD ! AND YOU COULD HAVE BROKEN MY NOSE! YOU SH*T ! OF COURSE ALL YOU FIND TO DO IS BEING THE PATHETIC SELF CONSIDERD JERK THAT YOU ARE BY STANDING THERE AND LOOKING AT ME WHILE LAUGHING YOUR HEAD OFF!!!!! I AM THROUGH WITH ALL YOUR SH*T! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE THIS INSTANT!  
  
Of course James would not just go away without replying being who he was. And soon it ended up in a yelling insults contest between him and Lily. Her face was a remarquably resembling shade of her hair and James face was the same as they were both yelling at the top of their lungs. Of course all the yelling finally made its way two stories below and the rest of the friends heard a part of the argument.  
  
Eve, Diana, Mya, Sirius, Remus and Peter were all sitting in the living room. Sirius and Remus were trying not to laugh because of how Lily had reacted and the girls were glaring at him. Peter who had just joined them and was clueless as to what had happened kept throwing puzzle looks to everyone. Finally he had enough and just as he was about to ask what was up Remus spoke up.  
  
-"Do you hear that? He asked  
  
-Hear what? All the others chorused"  
  
Then they finally heard a rumour of shouting  
  
-"That"  
  
They all looked at each other and as if as one they all sprung up and sprinted towards the stairs. Well all except Peter, he had blocked ears and hadn't heard the "screams". 5 were just too large for one staircase, even if it was huge. As a result to their excitement the group stumbled in the staircase and finally ended up in a dog pile at the bottom of the staircase.  
  
- "ARGH get off me Remus! I want to hear what they are fighting about! Exclaimed Sirius  
  
-James came in her room and didn't knock. Retorted Remus  
  
-How would you know! Oh! Right...guess I had forgotten about your... Sirius said but then quickly shut up and gulped as he saw Remus' face  
  
-I guess I have better hearing then you."  
  
That comment had closed the about to break argument. Since the girls hadn't heard a thing, as they were very busy getting untangled, Remus let it drop...for now anyways. He hated it when Sirius would always come close on spilling the beans on him. He knew it wasn't on purpose but still. Meanwhile upstairs...  
  
- WON'T YOU JUST CALM DOWN ALREADY? GEEZ I WAS ONLY TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING THAT YOU SUPPOSINGLY JUST NEEDED TO KNOW AND HERE YOU ARE YELLING AT ME!  
  
-WELL I WOLDN'T BE YELLING AT YOU! IF YOU WEREN'T THE SICK PERVETED SELF CENTERED SHOW OFF JERK THAT YOU ARE!  
  
-YOU SEEM TO BE REPEATING YOURSELF! YOU ARLEADY TOLD ME THAT I WAS A SELF CENTERED JERK. AND I MAY ADD THAT I THINK YOUR RIGHT!"  
  
This took both Lily and James aback. He didn't know what had come to his mind but it just popped right up and he said it aloud. But really it was only an after thought meant to be kept to himself. He had clearly screwed up...Big time. Now, Lily would think that he enjoyed being a pathetic jackass, as she would put it and yell even more at him. But...  
  
But instead of the outburst of rage and screaming James was expecting, something totally different happened. He looked down at Lily (seeing he was a good 6"1 while she stood at the top of her 5"6 and a half) and what he saw surprised him greatly. Lily stood there, not moving an inch, with her mouth hanging open, about to say something. But somehow she didn't seem to be able to speak. That sight was WAY to funny for James. He started to laugh silently. Lily quickly gained her composure back and stared straight into his sapphire eyes. The tall boy stopped laughing at once. The mystycall aspect of those big emerald eyes transfixed him. In them he saw anger, hatred and rage. But other mixed emotions he couldn't really put his finger on laid in the deepness of the forest of her eyes. As he gazed in her emerald orbs more intently trying to find the missing part of that sublime puzzle, Lily's voice echoed in his head. It was saying:  
  
-" Well now that you seem to be aware of your pathetic self and behaviour, you must be able to understand why I really can't stand you and that I don't want you to be spending one more minute in my house, don't even think about staying here for the week. I never wanted to be you friend and I certainly don't want to. Even if you are a friend of my best friends it won't change anything. They could get on there hands and knees and beg me for hours, you will definitely not get the privilege of seeing me lower myself to accept being friendly to you anytime soon! Now, get, out, of, my, HOUSE! "  
  
Her last sentence was spat out angrily but still rather calmly. James took notice of the harsh coldness that seemed to reign in her voice. She had been angry before but not as much as this. It bothered him a bit, but not too much. After all they had never been friendly to one another, except perhaps last night, but that didn't count. But still...she hadn't ever sounded so...empty of emotions.  
  
-" Alright then have a good rest of life! But don't think I ever wanted to be your friend. After all yesterday you were the friendliest of us!"  
  
At that he turned around and started walking towards the door in a rather dramatic way, leaving a very puzzled Lily behind. Just as he was storming out of her room. The group that had originally been tangled in a dog pile + Peter came into view. He rushed past them not looking back or saying a word. Sirius and Remus who knew him better told the girls to go ahead and try to fetch some information from Lily while they were going to see what was up with James. They arrived at his door only to see him packing his thing in his suitcase.  
  
-" What are you doing? Asked Sirius  
  
-What does it look like I'm doing? He asked through gritted teeth  
  
-Packing up your stuff. Did you get the sudden urge to clean up your room? Asked Sirius stupidly  
  
-No you idiot your little queen of the world is throwing me out of her house! He spat out  
  
-But where are you going to go? You don't have anywhere to stay! Your parents aren't home and if I remember correctly they took your key away because they were afraid of what they would find when they came back if you stayed there for the rest of the summer.  
  
-That's right. Wow Sirius did you just discover you have a memory!? He replied angrily while dragging his trunk from under the bed.  
  
-Well I can leave and you can stay at my house if you want to. Proposed Remus kindly  
  
-Nah. That's OK thanks anyways.  
  
-Well, if you're not going to either of our houses were will you stay. Asked Sirius  
  
-On the streets! No you genius I'm going to take a room at the leaky cauldron.  
  
-That's expensive, and I remember your parents didn't leave you that much money. Said Sirius  
  
-Here you go with you fantastic memory again. But you've forgotten something smart-ass. Replied James  
  
-Really? What is it then?  
  
-My family has a permanent suite at the leaky cauldron, they loan it to other people when we are not there. But I just have to say something and they can kick out that person. "  
  
James grinned he loved to shut Sirius' mouth up. And just as he thought Sirius didn't talk for the rest of his packing session. 10 minutes later he was done and was about to go down those famous stairs when Remus spoke up.  
  
-"It's not very polite to leave without saying goodbye to the girls you know. He pointed out  
  
-Well, you'll just have to explain to your girlfriends what decency their best friend has shown to me by pointing me rather not so politely to the door of her house.  
  
-But still it's not their fault! They're your friends too! What about Peter won't you let him know? Said Sirius  
  
-What about him? He can manage to understand my situation. I mean I know he hasn't the best of brains but he knows me well enough. Where is he anyway?  
  
-Err...both guys answered  
  
-What does that mean? Asked James curiously  
  
-We...we left him with the girls.  
  
-Way to go guys! Said James sarcastically"  
  
Both of them looked shifty thinking that it wasn't the best of ideas after all. Soon enough they heard a scream coming from a room down the hall. The voice was clearly Lily's and she didn't seem happy at all to see Peter in her room. She even referred him to a disgusting pork. James laughed at them. They had come down from the stairs all the while listening to "princess on the pea's" fit, as James would put it. They soon arrived at the door.  
  
-Well guys, said James over the screaming, enjoy your week with the queen of the house!"  
  
He flashed them his famous smile and went out the door laughing his ass off. 


End file.
